Until I fell in love with my partner, I really didn’t know what intimacy was.  Because of this gift to me, finding words that exemplify the depth of my love and gratefulness for my partner are nonexistent in the spoken language.

 

I thought I’d known intimacy, and I probably felt glimpses of it at times, during the first 43 years of my life.  I dated men and was even married for just shy of 20 years.  During that time, I loved the persons in my life in the sense that I cared about their wellbeing, but I was not “in” love with them.  We did not possess a partnership of equality and respect that should exist between two people.  I simply accepted my role as the inferior, weaker half of the relationship.  I didn’t know the trust that comes from truly listening and from being heard.  I didn’t know the intimacy achieved through tenderness and respect for another’s needs and desires. Until my partner entered my life, I had a sense of what intimacy could be, but I didn’t know how to find it with any man.

 

When at last I found the strength to fly from my marriage, finally fully acknowledging my true self, the woman to whom I owe so much was there to catch me.  With her, I found what it meant to open my heart by overcoming my fear of expressing my needs and ideas.  I learned that making love is different from having sex.  I learned to take pleasure in our bodies without being made to feel cheap.  I learned that it is okay to say no and not expect repercussions. Together we have explored the bounds of love, and she has shown me the path to my own heart along the way to hers.

 

To my partner, I say thank you for showing me what intimacy really is.